The Little Freezer of Horrors

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frozen left over blue cake

One summer day, not too long ago, on an evening similar to the one we are enjoying right now, my little family and I packed up a supper and wandered over to my brothers house to make him dinner.

While there, we staged a lawn intervention and helped him tackle the yard. Yes, that is my 7 year old pushing an old fashioned grass cutter.

My son loved it.

I wonder if he would love it if he had to use it on our lawn weekly? Something to consider….

young boy pushing an old fashioned grass cutter

While the lawn intervention was being staged by Mr Magpie and the nestlings, I proceeded into the house to get some dinner cooking for all the hungry field hands. I am not sure why I opened the freezer…not sure what I was looking for…

But there is one thing I know for sure : I am a changed woman.

I have seen horrors that no cook should have to witness.

Ground beef frozen since 2009.

close up of a frozen ground beef

 

Dark chocolate velvet ice cream.

Breyers brand Dark chocolate velvet ice cream

There is nothing velvety about this. Nothing.

an empty cup of ice cream

This, what looks like a cryogenic experiment gone very, very wrong, is my son’s leftover birthday cake.

From November of 2010.

close up of frozen left over blue cake

This is what it used to be.

I would like to point out to my brother that it was Han Solo who was frozen in carbonite, not R2D2.

At this point I simply couldn’t handle it anymore.

I had completely forgotten what it was I was searching for, because eating anything from that freezer would be asking to come down with a food borne illness that hasn’t been discovered yet.

However, maybe we can name the new disease after my brother.

How about Wyattdoesntcleanacitis?

Ebolagrowsinmyfridgesios?

The Wyatt Pox?

Haha sorry, that last one. I actually can’t stop laughing. Oh my.

I can do that because I am the older sister. It’s my job to pick on him.

R2D2 designed cake

I then opened the door to the fridge to find some salad dressing for the greens I brought with me for dinner.

I found this bottle that was best before March 21, 2009.

close up of salad dressing in a bottle's expiration date

I quietly put it back into the proper place.

Shut the door.

Made dinner without opening that Chamber of Horrors even one more time.

And haven’t had a proper nights sleep since.

The End.

Love,

We Shall Never Speak of This Again Magpie

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Karlynn Johnston

I’m a busy mom of two, wife & cookbook author who loves creating fast, fresh meals for my little family on the Canadian prairies. Karlynn Facts: I'm allergic to broccoli. I've never met a cocktail that I didn't like. I would rather burn down my house than clean it. Most of all, I love helping YOU get dinner ready because there's nothing more important than connecting with our loved ones around the dinner table!

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  1. Yvonne Doctor says

    My husband likes steak and kidney pie. For 37 years I buy a kidney, put it in the freezer. Then throw it out a couple of years later and try again. I have never made it yet. The same goes for liver.

  2. Lael says

    Ewwwww! That’s awesome! ha ha ha I get skeeved out if my fridge goes longer than a week!

  3. Cheryl Arkison says

    Haha! Although, my freezer looks like this right now because someone left it ever so slightly open yesterday. It shall be cleaned today.

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